My mind is wandering. I know I will have the tendency t post junk here on my blog anytime tonight. But how will I cope up?

Dear past stranger, current angry lover, and I still believe you to be my future husband,

I am crying right know as I am scribbling letters on my laptop. I can't help it. It's so much pain I'm feeling right now. I want to tell it to everybody just so I wont feel abandoned at this kind of situation we are going thru. But I know that everybody has problems of their own, everybody has something more valuable to do. And I just lost some valuable someone, It's you.

Let me start by asking you what had gone wrong?

You always know how much I love you, I guess I never fil to remind you that. I always see to it that you are happy, even sacrificing my own just for you.

I know that I am a bit hard headed at times, a little brat and a lot of times I do make you mad. But you alwas know that I try to change it. I try to be more appealing to your attitude standards. I try to change myself, my looks even my attitude. Because i want you to see how important you are to me.

I left some friends, abandoned some really close friends. Started a new life. A life that only the two of us shares. I never had regrets. I am happy.

I gave you almost everything I have. and by everything, I mean all of me...

Still, no regrets. Because I LOVE YOU.

There are several times that I've been hurt. I have tendencies to give up, But I never ever said that I dont love you. I cant say it, nor imagine.

So how come it looks so easy to tell me those hateful words " I dont love you anymore" ?

(cries harder)

I thought that you were just mad, you were not serious but it turns out that I was wrong.

Sudden goodbyes are always hard.

Shall i set you free now? I dont think I can :/
Im so afraid to lose you, you know im weak. you know I'm innocent. You know I cant live without you. you know I love you that much :(

I am so weak and wasted and hurt. I wish you would kiss me and tell me that you do not mean your words. BUT... you chose to ignore. Now I feel like Im really all by myself.

I just want to disappear...

Love,
Me