Wala to.

Bukas gigising ako ng wala ng bubungad na "Good morning honey, I love you" message sakin.

Kakain ako ng tanghalian ng walang nagsasabing "Damihan mo ha"

Uuwi ako ng bahay ng walang magpapaalalag "Mag Ingat ka sa pagtawid ha"

Bukas, ako nalang mag isa,

Wala na kong katext hanggang madaling araw, wala na kong kasamang magsimba pag Linggo. Wala na kong pupuntahan tuwing Martes. Wala na kong kukulitin kapag ayaw ko gumawa ng homeworks. Wala na kong kasamang magplaplano ng pupuntahan para sa mga susunod na buwan. Wala ng susundo sakin. Wala ng bibilan ako ng gamot pag nagkakasakit ako. Wala na kong aawayin. Wala na kong kapalitan ng I Love You at I Miss You. Wala na akong dapat abangang anniversary sa October 19 :(

Wala nang magsasabi saking tumahan na ko, wala na kong kasama manood ng sine, wala na kong kajamming sa food trip, wala na kong kahati sa panyo, wala ng hahawak ng kamay ko. 

T_________________________________________________________T

Blah Bleh Blih Bobo.

Please don't expect me to always be good, kind, and loving. There are times when I will be cold, thoughtless, and hard to understand.

I named my blog : eccedenteciast, or in simpler terms it means someone who can fake smiles. I do good at that, Im a professional eccedenteciast. Maybe thats the reason why whenever I couldnt handle it anymore I am still forced to smile in front of other people, making the pain much worse that it should just had. I have attitude problems, I think. Who no Earth will hide her feelings every friggin time? 

Me.

I wish i was born a completely different person, a different girl, I can be the richest girl, or the poorest but with the happiest family, or a lesbiaan, or I could have been born as a flower or as the Eiffel tower. Nah, scratch this paragraph, Im going crazy.

Truth is, I had completely imprisoned myself to a life I no longer had. A life well planned, well organized, well sustained and all that shit. I wish and wish and wish that I could get that old life back.

Back when Mom and Dad was still the kinkiest, cheesiest, sweetest couple on Earth, back when they wouldn't argue everyday, back when we;d go shopping every sunday, we'd go out for dinner, we'd travel to Pampanga, Bulacan, ilocoa, Cagayan, Bukidnon, Palawan and even Macau. I want to bring back that shitful family I had before, I want and I need but it's useless, as Taylor Swift goes "We are never ever ever getting back together"

I wanna bring  back the days when I would not worry on every single thing in life. I want to be happy. Genuine happy again,

After graduation, I really am planning so much for myself. I wanted to reinvent my life, be a total transformed "me". I want to reach my dreams and attain my goals and comply with all my responsibilities too.

SCRATCH EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN. I really am going crazy.

I just want this to be short, Maybe I should just wait until I graduated from college and have all the time in the world to do what I needed to do to achieve my desirable life.

Im getting crazy.

Nonsense

xoxo