Paris. Paris. Paris. Please?

Before I enrolled myself to my present school, which is Lyceum, I took the UPCAT and passed it but my dad is not open to the idea of me in a boarding house. He's scared for my safety and is not convinced that I will be a good girl. So I just rejected the idea as well, the idea of getting in to one of my dream schools which is UP diliman.

I am seriouos in taking Film courses there, I love films, (Indie films in particular) I'm an avid fan of films. Films. films. Blah. Motherfucking Blah Films. I LOVE FILMS.

Today, I came across New York Film Academy's (NYFA) website. And I drool over the programs that they are offering. But my eyes was fixed across the "Cinematography" course they are offering. It's about 760,000 pesos for a year of studying in there. And I'm not kidding. It's that expensive! Well at least for me cause we're not filthy rich. And it sucks. ugh. And of course, 760K is still not enough for me to study there. The lodge, my food, my toiletries, my allowance, the equipment I'll be using  will be another add-ons to my expenses. I just dont fucking know how can I fucking save 760K +++++++

Frustating.

Then i found out that NYFA also have a branch in Paris, France,it;s not so obvious that I love that place, right?. So yea, found out that they also have the same school in Paris and God knows how I almost lost my breath knowing I could study there. My dream place, my dream job. So awesome! so I searched for the tuition cost and found out that it's just about 200,000 pesos. (grinning right at this moment) 200,000! Not that far from reality.

And so my dreams were once again, revive.

I asked my old time buddy/ professor who already went to Paris on how much will it cost me to go to Paris and, how do I start and stuffs like that. I was so giddy when I found out that It'll cost me about 100K or so. So I needed to just save 300K-400K or maybe even 500K to fulfill my dreams. Right at this moment I swear to God, Why didnt I become filthy rich? Oh my God.

500,000 pesos. I need 500,000 pesos. Or maybe less If I get a grant or scholarsgip to NYFA (Which I was working on right now ) Bottomline is: I need a hell lot of money.

After graduation I swear to God, i'll save money when I get a job. And I'm planning to get a high paying job so I could save so fast.

Oh my God. Adrenalin's rushing again. Fuck,fuck,fuck. I;ll be at Paris and study film. I swear to God.

Yesterday, we celebrated our 4th anniversary. It was one of the simplest celebrations we had, cause usually we go on trips and stuff.  I remember on our first is where we spend a week going out on dates, and the second is where we went to Tagaytay, the third one if I;m not mistaken is at Batangas. Im not so familiar with occasions anymore XD for this day, we just spent the night in our house, he slept over :)

For weeks, I had been thinking of a gift that will somehow surprise him, I love surprising him. It's my way of saying thank you for all the things that he has done to me (drama eh. haha) So I decided to fill my room with sticky notes, cheeeeeeesy sticky notes :) And here's the result:

I tried hard to fill my room but it is soooooooooooo focken tiring I gave up,  haha I just formed a heart shape in the center, and it worked (or so I think). He was surprised so I received thank you kisses immediately. Me is so happy :)

Wala to.

Bukas gigising ako ng wala ng bubungad na "Good morning honey, I love you" message sakin.

Kakain ako ng tanghalian ng walang nagsasabing "Damihan mo ha"

Uuwi ako ng bahay ng walang magpapaalalag "Mag Ingat ka sa pagtawid ha"

Bukas, ako nalang mag isa,

Wala na kong katext hanggang madaling araw, wala na kong kasamang magsimba pag Linggo. Wala na kong pupuntahan tuwing Martes. Wala na kong kukulitin kapag ayaw ko gumawa ng homeworks. Wala na kong kasamang magplaplano ng pupuntahan para sa mga susunod na buwan. Wala ng susundo sakin. Wala ng bibilan ako ng gamot pag nagkakasakit ako. Wala na kong aawayin. Wala na kong kapalitan ng I Love You at I Miss You. Wala na akong dapat abangang anniversary sa October 19 :(

Wala nang magsasabi saking tumahan na ko, wala na kong kasama manood ng sine, wala na kong kajamming sa food trip, wala na kong kahati sa panyo, wala ng hahawak ng kamay ko. 

T_________________________________________________________T

Blah Bleh Blih Bobo.

Please don't expect me to always be good, kind, and loving. There are times when I will be cold, thoughtless, and hard to understand.

I named my blog : eccedenteciast, or in simpler terms it means someone who can fake smiles. I do good at that, Im a professional eccedenteciast. Maybe thats the reason why whenever I couldnt handle it anymore I am still forced to smile in front of other people, making the pain much worse that it should just had. I have attitude problems, I think. Who no Earth will hide her feelings every friggin time? 

Me.

I wish i was born a completely different person, a different girl, I can be the richest girl, or the poorest but with the happiest family, or a lesbiaan, or I could have been born as a flower or as the Eiffel tower. Nah, scratch this paragraph, Im going crazy.

Truth is, I had completely imprisoned myself to a life I no longer had. A life well planned, well organized, well sustained and all that shit. I wish and wish and wish that I could get that old life back.

Back when Mom and Dad was still the kinkiest, cheesiest, sweetest couple on Earth, back when they wouldn't argue everyday, back when we;d go shopping every sunday, we'd go out for dinner, we'd travel to Pampanga, Bulacan, ilocoa, Cagayan, Bukidnon, Palawan and even Macau. I want to bring back that shitful family I had before, I want and I need but it's useless, as Taylor Swift goes "We are never ever ever getting back together"

I wanna bring  back the days when I would not worry on every single thing in life. I want to be happy. Genuine happy again,

After graduation, I really am planning so much for myself. I wanted to reinvent my life, be a total transformed "me". I want to reach my dreams and attain my goals and comply with all my responsibilities too.

SCRATCH EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN. I really am going crazy.

I just want this to be short, Maybe I should just wait until I graduated from college and have all the time in the world to do what I needed to do to achieve my desirable life.

Im getting crazy.

Nonsense

xoxo

Passion

I just recently created another blog in tumblr and named it :Whatdaisywears.

Its a different blog than this one I got here in blogger., I am having fun with it because I love fashion and in there I can selflessly, freely talk about anything there is in fashion.

http://whatdaisywears.tumblr.com/ please follow :)

You told me you love me, So why did you go away? :)

I never thought I'd see him again. Ever.

I find it completely awkward to walk pass by someone whom for once had been your world, or so you thought.  That minute you meet the eyes of each other will be the exact time you'll probably remember everything you two had before. It's awkward. Very awkward.

I was walking hand in hand with my boyfriend and happily window shopping at the mall. Damn that was a very hot afternoon. Out of the thousands of faces I passed by the mall, I saw someone familiar, someone I knew very well, someone I kinda memorize everything about, someone I promised the whole world to, someone who had became a part of me. Ladies and gentlemen, my ex boyfriend.

He smiled and I smiled back. End of story.

I was surprised on the way I reacted. (Cause I thought I was supposed to cry or something). It has been 6 years? or maybe 5? I cant seem to remember, Maybe after all these years I really didn't care at all.

I have to admit that it took me several minutes to forget his face, but I cant seem to remember it now unlike years ago when I even memorize the shape of his lips.

So I had proven myself wrong. Its not awkward, I dont know for some. But it really is not the way I thought it would be.

Wala lang, I was just super amazed :)

--D

meilleurs amis

"GUSTO NIYO BANG GRUMADUATE NG MAY SAMAAN TAYO NG LOOB?"

Bungad ko para lang maumpisahan ang mahabang usapan, paliwanagan, opinion, diskusyon at kung ano pang dapat pag usapan nung hapong 'yon sa taas ng walls sa Intramuros.

Alam na kapag naggrupo kameng anim, ng SERYOSO, ibig sabihin may dapat kaming pag usapan. Kami kasi yung barkadang palaging joker sa classroom. Kaya naman napakabihira samin na mag usap usap ng dibdiban.

Naalala ko nung huli namen tong ginawa. Naiyak pa yung isa. sabagay iyakin talaga sya sa twing naggaganito kameng barkada. Kanina nga eh, naiyak din siya.

Yung usapan namin ngayon, SERYOSO.
Kahit hindi kasi sabihin nung lima, ramdam ko na may nasaktan, may hindi pa din nakakamove on, may kinikimkim lang, may gustong sabihin, may nangulangot.

Pero ano bang masasabi ko?

Ayoko lang mawala tong mga to sa buhay ko. :"))

20 REASONS WHY I LOVE BIGSIX


1. They accepted me. Kahit minsan hindi din kanais nais ang ugali ko, anjan pa din sila.
2. They love me. Mula sa pagflood sakin ng texts na late na ko hanggang sa pagpapakopya kapag may exams. naasahan ko sila.
3. With them, I can be in my most craziest. Walang hiyaan dahil walanghiya kaming anim :P
4. I am on my happiest whenever I am with them.  Oo totoo to, kahit korni :P
5. Open forums. Hindi ko alam pano to nagsimula pero automatic na kapag nagkaproblema, may open forum na kasunod
6. Overnights to remember. Kahit madalas na wala si Dan, yung every convo kapag nag oovernight kame = memorable.
7. Panget si Patty. Palagay ko hindi magiging super saya ng barkadang to kundi ganun ang itsura ni Pat. hahaha! :))))
8. Weirdo si Dan. Monggi si Dan. Sped si Dan. Yes, sorry sa mga nagkakagusto sa kanya, may saltik siya sa totoo lang. (Sorry pat! :P)
9. Si bea, weirdo din... ang taste. hahaha! No further explanation LOL
10. Si Klinton, bakla. Kung di siguro naging bading si ton, hindi rin siguro ganun kasaya :D
11. Si Yao Ming ay isang piranha. No further explanations.
12. Pinakamaganda si Dai. Period. :))
13. Tumagal kame ng 4 years, pero hindi kami naging B.I. sa bawat isa. Walang yosi, walang alak :) 
14. Ang mahal ng isa, susuriin muna ng lima :) Ganun kame kahigpit sa mga pumapasok sa circle namen bwahahaha XD
15. Parang magsyota, may future din kameng plinaplano magbabarkada. Magkikita kita kame sa Glorietta, kakain sa aveneto. Same time, same place :)
16. Dahil iiyak ako sa graduation. Sa totoo lang kapag naiisip ko naluluha na ko :P
17. Sinusuportahan namin ang bawat isa. Alam niyo yan?  kahit ilang bese kameng natalo ni ton, nakikiiyak kayo samin, OA kayo. hahahaha! :)
18. Mahal namin si tita Sonia. Siya ang ultimate nanay ng bigsix. (Penge pong macaroni para sa exposure sa blog ko)
19. Tagaytay, Batangas, Puerto, Hundred Island... Marami pa tayo pupuntahan together :)
20. Bestfriends ko kayo. :)

Madami pa akong reasons na gustong ilagay kaso masyado pang maaga para magdrama. :)