Happy (Sad) Birthday Daisy!

I have 3 nipples.

Hahaha Kidding. what a way to start this entry right? Credits to TMR Book 2 :P

This, by far is one of the most memorable birthday ever.

The real date of my birthday is December 31. But I guess it's of my traditions to celebrate it from the 26th to the 31st. Haha (It pays to have lots of friends lol)

On the 26, I spent it with my family in Bulacan.

On the 27th I went out shopping with my man.

On the 28th, Rest day. Haha

On the 29th I went to the Missionaries of Charity again to keep up and bring them some goodies (Birthday ritual)

On the 30th it was a undecided gala with 3 of my favorite people in the universe. Jayson (Badudz), Rhenz, and Ryan Jay (Butz). Actually I had planned this all along with Arjhay but the bitch is not replying on the day itself so I guess it was safe to call it quits but then again, Badudz texted me insisting we go out. So we did :D (yey!) It's been what? 3 or 4 years since we haven't seen each other. Maybe occasionally  but not so long to call it gala just frequent hi's and hello's. And so he fetched me at home then we fetched Rhenz and then we rode on a bus en route to Trinoma. The original plan is to watch a movie while waiting for Butz. But the line is so frustrating so we end up playing monopoly deal @ Starbucks Sky Garden, and after 489 years Butz appeared and we talked, walked, laughed, ate Jolly Spaghetti, talked and happily went home. Actually, these guys accompany me home and you cant just guess my mom's happiness upon seeing them again. :)

Butz, Rhenz, Badudz and Me :)

After all the happiness they had brought me for the day, In the end I still feel so miserable. I hate to spoil everything in my blog and just want to keep that as a memory because everything that happened is so frustrating.

So it was December 31st. My exact nineteenth birthday. I opened my Facebook account and found 200+ greetings from real life friends to acquaintances to almost everyone. But then again the overwhelming greetings are not enough. I refuse to get out of my room until lunch time. Frankly dont want to celebrate my birthday and even New Year per se. There's just too much hatred and sadness in my heart to the core of my body. Exaggerated? Ikr? haha But honestly, There's an instance that I said to myself that this is my worst birthday ever. (tears)

And then these girls texted me that they are coming over. And I know them my whole life so I also knew that no IFS or BUTS can stop them from coming. So I washed up, help a little at the kitchen, checked my phone and cried. Reason why? Its a secret ;)

Bestest best friends ever :)

 So these girls came in and I being an eccedenteciast have to fake some smiles. But eventually they know me so well so I spill to them the story of my sadness for the day. They're comforting, understanding, and ever so funny. I even guessed that they brought along some luck because at the middle of our chit chats, there he was. My wish, it came true :) And the rest is history. :))

By the way it was indeed the first time that my girlfriends met my 4-year boyfriend Michael. <3 So there's no stopping a photo op. Teehee! :)

My loves :)

So to generalize, it was a roller coaster ride of emotions for my nineteenth birthday. Happy New Year everyone! :)

December is love.

December is the holiday season, and also my mother month because my birthday falls on the last day of December, so basically, I L O V E T H I S M O N T H. :))))))

On about the first week of December, I received a book stand from my friend, an Eiffel Tower Bookstand. I am so happy I hugged my friend in the middle pf the class. haha

And then For my Christmas shopping I bought the Eiffel tower figurine for myself. I am planning to collect all the inches they have. Haha. It's too cute I can die just staring at it.

And just yesterday (Christmas day) I received an Eiffel Tower key chain from my cousin as a present for Christmas. It is cute, right? :))))

I just love Paris and December too. Hopefully before or on during my birthday I wish to receive lots of Eiffel Tower collectibles. Haha So Calling all of my friends? hahaha

How was your December so far? :)

Baking cupcakes :)

It's my first time to bake cupcakes. I usually make brownies and pasta. But I really wanted to make cupcakes so I decided to make one today and it's a hooray! :))

It tastes really delicious, I have to admit that I burnt some haha but eventually I was able to get the right timing for the oven ;) And I am so proud. lol

Along with the butter cupcakes I made a mixed drink too and I called it Tropical Tea spritzer. It's made up of Iced tea, Orange juice and soda. 

I guess i'll be having such a sweet dinner ;) 

If...

If...

Graduation is just months away, 6 months to be exact. And seriously speaking, here i am again- dunno what to do.

Meron naman akong concrete plans after graduation, well hindi masyadong concrete so I think it’ll be better to call it abstract plans. Pero parang di pa din tugma. O sige, drafted plans nalang after graduation. 

What I really want after graduation is to go to Paris and study film. I really want that like so badly that even just the thought of it makes me want to shout or cry or do something violent LOL. That’s what I really want in the first place. Kaso ang lakas ng tama sakin ng scientific method. Sabi kasi sa scientific method dapat daw may process para maabot yung conclusion. By process they mean steps. Ang daming steps na kaialangan ko pa gawin.

For me to go  to Paris I need (in the candy girls’ vocabs) moolah. Lot’s of em. Nacompute ko na actually so alam ko na kung magkano kaialangan ko ipunin. My plans are straight. Magtratrabaho ako ng malala. Siguro magkcall center ako for a while kasi practically speaking, malaki sahod dun and in no time I can earn what I needed. So, kahit medyo degrading ok lang. On our generation bitches, money now one of the basic needs.

So yun, call center. then save for Paris. Im not planning to go straight to Paris. Well, naisip ko kasi na kung magttrabaho ako sa ibang bansa, di lang doble, triple minsan times68 pa ng sahod sa call center yung kikitain ko. So ayun, I will work here, save some for the trip abroad then voila. More more work in a foreign land.

Of course, Im not ging to do that alone. Sinabi ko na to kay M (bf) he agrees with me and he even said that he’s coming. Pag nakaipon na ko enough para makatrabaho abroad. Sasama siya sakin, we’ll be renting a house or an apartment there. Parang live in while both of us is working for our future. Mag iipon ako ng pang Paris ko tapos yung other savings bibigay ko kay Mommy. 

After work, magiging semi wife ako kay M, gunna cook him dinner, tell him about my day, ask him about his and then cuddle. We crave for that moment :) <3

Siguro kapag nakapag aral na ko sa Paris, uuwi na kami ng Pilipinas. Magtatayo ng restaurant kasi ayun talaga yung gusto naming dalawa. Tapos nun magpapakasal :)

After nun ippursue ko na yung film making passion ko.

Kapag nagawa ko na yung gusto ko, bibili na ko ng kotse. And sa pagbili ko ng kotse (only my super friends know what will happen next ;) )

after that, I’ll guess i’ll be happy. that’s all I really wanted.

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Why am I writing this entry? KAsi may sakit akong kalimot, aligaga, at magulong isip. One way or another pwede magbago lahat to at mag iba ang gusto ko mangyari sakin after graduation. sometimes I hate myself for being such a brat. But Im going to keep this entry, have this printed as well. Para next time na magbago na naman isip ko, babasahin ko to and will think about how wonderful it will be kapag nangyari to.

6 months. After that, this shall come to life.

Beggining to get crazy,

D

High School friends are forever :)

October 24th.

I hate to go to school and claim my class card because I knew (expect somehow) what's waiting for me. A flunking  grade of 3.00 for Chemistry. I blogged a lot about my frustrations in the said subject before so no need to expand it cause it will just bring back the feelings. LOL I received a 2.75 for the effort by the way :P

But then again happiness is a choice so I just said to myself that whatever my grades will be I'm gonna eat it off with five of my favorite persons in the whole world. My high school friends.

We decided to meet in SM Manila, walking distance to my school and Lindcy's too. We planned to meet @ 2:00pm but due to human nature, we were complete by 4:00 pm. haha lol. I was the last one to arrive as always. haha

Off we went to the main event of the day which is to eat. We went to Zark's in Vito Cruz. Ryan wanted to try it so I demanded a free meal first before accompanying him there. haha Clever bitch, yes. haha I ordered the Zarks Ultimate burger and man it really is ultimate.

ultimate burger


I had an empty stomach before going to Zarks, but the mere sight of the ultimate burger made me ultimately full Honestly I had a hard time finishing it. haha

Rhenz, Arjhay and Butz

I think this is the Shaq burger that Arjhay ordered.

 Arjhay has the fullest tummy of all haha. He ate Lindcy's burger too for Lindcy cannot take the calories anymore. lol

Dahil sa picture na ito, antagal niya pumili ng oorderin haha

haggard me with my Ultimate burger courtesy of Butz. haha 

Butz, I really dont know what you're feeling but eat that burger.

the boys

lindcy moi

rolando. lol arjhay

There is so much fun in Zarks. Butz havent changed he still enjoys being the laughing stock. ahaha. Goofed with them while eating and then we decided to go to MOA. Ah, high school days. haha

The first thing we did is to play @ Timezone.  Arjhay being the richest kid that day haha paid for the credits.

The picture above is one of the funniest. haha Butz is not really playing so its really a wonder why he acts so. haha Mind you he's all by his self that time. lol

with moi

with my two loved boys in the world

Stroll, stroll and more stroll in MOA. nalibot na nga namen eh. haha Nakakapgod so Arjhay again being the richest kid that day haha treated us in Juice Avenue.

I ordered Divisoria :)

At Juice Avenue we reminisce high school moments, funny, sad, and awkward moments. hahaha
Si Arjhay kasi brinought up na me and Rhenz used to be you know what. haha Pero dedma, very past na yun. haha We are good friends :)

And look at what we've found, a photobomber lol 

To sum it up, it was a fun day. So much for a day, yes but its all worth it. We planned on meeting again soon and more frequent. Ah, these guys is just so lovable <3

Paris. Paris. Paris. Please?

Before I enrolled myself to my present school, which is Lyceum, I took the UPCAT and passed it but my dad is not open to the idea of me in a boarding house. He's scared for my safety and is not convinced that I will be a good girl. So I just rejected the idea as well, the idea of getting in to one of my dream schools which is UP diliman.

I am seriouos in taking Film courses there, I love films, (Indie films in particular) I'm an avid fan of films. Films. films. Blah. Motherfucking Blah Films. I LOVE FILMS.

Today, I came across New York Film Academy's (NYFA) website. And I drool over the programs that they are offering. But my eyes was fixed across the "Cinematography" course they are offering. It's about 760,000 pesos for a year of studying in there. And I'm not kidding. It's that expensive! Well at least for me cause we're not filthy rich. And it sucks. ugh. And of course, 760K is still not enough for me to study there. The lodge, my food, my toiletries, my allowance, the equipment I'll be using  will be another add-ons to my expenses. I just dont fucking know how can I fucking save 760K +++++++

Frustating.

Then i found out that NYFA also have a branch in Paris, France,it;s not so obvious that I love that place, right?. So yea, found out that they also have the same school in Paris and God knows how I almost lost my breath knowing I could study there. My dream place, my dream job. So awesome! so I searched for the tuition cost and found out that it's just about 200,000 pesos. (grinning right at this moment) 200,000! Not that far from reality.

And so my dreams were once again, revive.

I asked my old time buddy/ professor who already went to Paris on how much will it cost me to go to Paris and, how do I start and stuffs like that. I was so giddy when I found out that It'll cost me about 100K or so. So I needed to just save 300K-400K or maybe even 500K to fulfill my dreams. Right at this moment I swear to God, Why didnt I become filthy rich? Oh my God.

500,000 pesos. I need 500,000 pesos. Or maybe less If I get a grant or scholarsgip to NYFA (Which I was working on right now ) Bottomline is: I need a hell lot of money.

After graduation I swear to God, i'll save money when I get a job. And I'm planning to get a high paying job so I could save so fast.

Oh my God. Adrenalin's rushing again. Fuck,fuck,fuck. I;ll be at Paris and study film. I swear to God.

Yesterday, we celebrated our 4th anniversary. It was one of the simplest celebrations we had, cause usually we go on trips and stuff.  I remember on our first is where we spend a week going out on dates, and the second is where we went to Tagaytay, the third one if I;m not mistaken is at Batangas. Im not so familiar with occasions anymore XD for this day, we just spent the night in our house, he slept over :)

For weeks, I had been thinking of a gift that will somehow surprise him, I love surprising him. It's my way of saying thank you for all the things that he has done to me (drama eh. haha) So I decided to fill my room with sticky notes, cheeeeeeesy sticky notes :) And here's the result:

I tried hard to fill my room but it is soooooooooooo focken tiring I gave up,  haha I just formed a heart shape in the center, and it worked (or so I think). He was surprised so I received thank you kisses immediately. Me is so happy :)

Wala to.

Bukas gigising ako ng wala ng bubungad na "Good morning honey, I love you" message sakin.

Kakain ako ng tanghalian ng walang nagsasabing "Damihan mo ha"

Uuwi ako ng bahay ng walang magpapaalalag "Mag Ingat ka sa pagtawid ha"

Bukas, ako nalang mag isa,

Wala na kong katext hanggang madaling araw, wala na kong kasamang magsimba pag Linggo. Wala na kong pupuntahan tuwing Martes. Wala na kong kukulitin kapag ayaw ko gumawa ng homeworks. Wala na kong kasamang magplaplano ng pupuntahan para sa mga susunod na buwan. Wala ng susundo sakin. Wala ng bibilan ako ng gamot pag nagkakasakit ako. Wala na kong aawayin. Wala na kong kapalitan ng I Love You at I Miss You. Wala na akong dapat abangang anniversary sa October 19 :(

Wala nang magsasabi saking tumahan na ko, wala na kong kasama manood ng sine, wala na kong kajamming sa food trip, wala na kong kahati sa panyo, wala ng hahawak ng kamay ko. 

T_________________________________________________________T