Blah Bleh Blih Bobo.

Please don't expect me to always be good, kind, and loving. There are times when I will be cold, thoughtless, and hard to understand.

I named my blog : eccedenteciast, or in simpler terms it means someone who can fake smiles. I do good at that, Im a professional eccedenteciast. Maybe thats the reason why whenever I couldnt handle it anymore I am still forced to smile in front of other people, making the pain much worse that it should just had. I have attitude problems, I think. Who no Earth will hide her feelings every friggin time? 

Me.

I wish i was born a completely different person, a different girl, I can be the richest girl, or the poorest but with the happiest family, or a lesbiaan, or I could have been born as a flower or as the Eiffel tower. Nah, scratch this paragraph, Im going crazy.

Truth is, I had completely imprisoned myself to a life I no longer had. A life well planned, well organized, well sustained and all that shit. I wish and wish and wish that I could get that old life back.

Back when Mom and Dad was still the kinkiest, cheesiest, sweetest couple on Earth, back when they wouldn't argue everyday, back when we;d go shopping every sunday, we'd go out for dinner, we'd travel to Pampanga, Bulacan, ilocoa, Cagayan, Bukidnon, Palawan and even Macau. I want to bring back that shitful family I had before, I want and I need but it's useless, as Taylor Swift goes "We are never ever ever getting back together"

I wanna bring  back the days when I would not worry on every single thing in life. I want to be happy. Genuine happy again,

After graduation, I really am planning so much for myself. I wanted to reinvent my life, be a total transformed "me". I want to reach my dreams and attain my goals and comply with all my responsibilities too.

SCRATCH EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN. I really am going crazy.

I just want this to be short, Maybe I should just wait until I graduated from college and have all the time in the world to do what I needed to do to achieve my desirable life.

Im getting crazy.

Nonsense

xoxo

h a p p y : better said than done.

I refuse to write blogposts that tackles issues of our government, it's not that I don't give a damn, it's just that there are too many bullshits in their agendas and I am too tired of listening. Convict or not, we are hopeless.

Let me just scribble some good old stuffs that's visiting my half-filled brain these past few days.

It's not as important as the CJ Corona impeachment everyine is talking about, not as famous as the Jessica Sanchez fandom, not as sensationalized as the everyday local news. What I want to write is something about LIFE.

Just recently, I took a break off from the city life that I have been facing every single day of my 18 years of existence. It's a 3-day vacation to the city of Batangas. I'm a very internet-dependent person. Believe me man, it's like oxygen. I cannot go on a day without checking my social accounts, but for some change I decided to leave my laptop in Manila so as not to be tempted to use the internet during my vacation.  I had total and clean fun with my friends, It's the kind of life I'm looking for. No pressure, No work, No pollution, Simple living. Serenity at it's finest.

I realized then that it's not expensive to be happy. Happiness is not made through the gadgets we have, the civilization we embraced, the social status we have to maintain. Happiness is being contented. Happiness is being with the people you can be yourself around. Happiness is not that hard to achieve. It does not require anything. It's a choice.

It's sometimes unfair because when I chose to be happy God will bash me with unending dilemma that I have to face, sometimes alone sometimes not. I wanted to quit sometimes, I wanted to be agnostic. But I realized that if I will, nothing will change it will just make things worst.

I have friends, a boyfriend, a shit full of member family what more can I ask for? Jesus Christ, I want serenity. I want complete snob to negativity. I want to raise my middle finger to the complexities of life. I want peace, silence. at the end of the day it's a conclusion brothers and sisters:

i just want to be happy.