I named my blog : eccedenteciast, or in simpler terms it means someone who can fake smiles. I do good at that, Im a professional eccedenteciast. Maybe thats the reason why whenever I couldnt handle it anymore I am still forced to smile in front of other people, making the pain much worse that it should just had. I have attitude problems, I think. Who no Earth will hide her feelings every friggin time?
Me.
I wish i was born a completely different person, a different girl, I can be the richest girl, or the poorest but with the happiest family, or a lesbiaan, or I could have been born as a flower or as the Eiffel tower. Nah, scratch this paragraph, Im going crazy.
Truth is, I had completely imprisoned myself to a life I no longer had. A life well planned, well organized, well sustained and all that shit. I wish and wish and wish that I could get that old life back.
Back when Mom and Dad was still the kinkiest, cheesiest, sweetest couple on Earth, back when they wouldn't argue everyday, back when we;d go shopping every sunday, we'd go out for dinner, we'd travel to Pampanga, Bulacan, ilocoa, Cagayan, Bukidnon, Palawan and even Macau. I want to bring back that shitful family I had before, I want and I need but it's useless, as Taylor Swift goes "We are never ever ever getting back together"
I wanna bring back the days when I would not worry on every single thing in life. I want to be happy. Genuine happy again,
After graduation, I really am planning so much for myself. I wanted to reinvent my life, be a total transformed "me". I want to reach my dreams and attain my goals and comply with all my responsibilities too.
SCRATCH EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN. I really am going crazy.
I just want this to be short, Maybe I should just wait until I graduated from college and have all the time in the world to do what I needed to do to achieve my desirable life.
Im getting crazy.
Nonsense
xoxo
