Close Enough.

D: Where you at?

M: Home?

D: It's my graduation day.

M: I never promised.

D: I thought you'll come.

It was finally the day, D is waiting for. The day of her graduation. The day she'll bid goodbye to the university. The day she will shape her future. The day that will mark her new life. The day M refuses to go to. 

It was not a new story tho, D is used to M being an asshole. but she's used to it for they have been together for almost 5 years now. But now, she wants to cry.

Friend1: D, dont you dare cry! It will ruin your make up!

D: My day's ruined anyway. (watery eyed)

And then she left out a very brief and meaningful sigh. after the ceremony she did not stay long, she wants to go home. hug her beloved pillow and cry, cry until she finally forget that hey boyfriend ruined her graduation.

--------------

D: Honey! Wake up. 

M: What's the matter?

D: What day is today?

M: Ugh, Saturday?

D: date?

M: 19th... of October?

D: And?

M: Shit! Im late for work.

D: (to herself) Happy anniversary.

D skipped her very important meeting so as to surprised M for today is their anniversary. Not a single fuck was given, it was not even remembered. Broken as she could only be, she still finish decorating the whole room with sticky and cheesy notes and pictures of them for the last 5 years. Dried her tears, then off to her work.

It was hard, very hard. that after some years, people eventually changes not for good but for worst. 

D received a text message from M.

"I'll be home late, Take care honey"

---------------------

M: where you at?

D: home

M: Let's go out.

D: Sige

M: 10 minutes?

D: Make it 30.

M: Aw, I am missing you how about 15?

D: All right, see you :)

D dresses good. She have a natural knock on mixing her clothes. She wore plain shorts and a comfortable top because she knows that every date with M is an adventure. 15 minutes and she's rushing to put her make up on. 20 minutes all set. 30 minutes, an hour. 2 more hours, M arrived.

"What took you so long?"

"I knew you'd be so bagal, so I make the adjustments"

"You never kept your words"

--------------------------------------

M: Where you at?

D: I refuse to tell you.

M: Are you crazy?

D: I've been.

M: Stop it D, It's our wedding day.

D: I know, I never forget.

M: everyone's here except for you!

D: Im sorry.

M: You're coming right?

D: I never promised.

Coffee and Opening Windows.

I am eccedenteciast.

there is so much love for the word. It's like a hidden meaning to my boring name. It's speaks a lot about me. It defines me. I am eccedenteciast.

I acted like I am in control of the things in my life. Acting so brave and so still. I'm such a drama queen. truth is, I bleed. I cry. I suffer and I lose hopes.

Theres a lot of things to put a smile on but I can't. I just cant.

As my facebook status goes: Please don't expect me to always be good, kind, and loving. There are times when I will be cold, thoughtless, and hard to understand.


There will always be  point in life when you really need a break. A small shout out to the world that you are hurting. The wound hurts too much that you just wanna give up, I wanna give up. I wanna lose it. It's a tale it or leave it thing. It's my destiny.

Eccedenteciast means faking smiles. I fake smiles. i always do. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel that I belong. My friends are not used to me being this shitful of dramatic. But sometimes I just cant contain the sadness.

h a p p y : better said than done.

I refuse to write blogposts that tackles issues of our government, it's not that I don't give a damn, it's just that there are too many bullshits in their agendas and I am too tired of listening. Convict or not, we are hopeless.

Let me just scribble some good old stuffs that's visiting my half-filled brain these past few days.

It's not as important as the CJ Corona impeachment everyine is talking about, not as famous as the Jessica Sanchez fandom, not as sensationalized as the everyday local news. What I want to write is something about LIFE.

Just recently, I took a break off from the city life that I have been facing every single day of my 18 years of existence. It's a 3-day vacation to the city of Batangas. I'm a very internet-dependent person. Believe me man, it's like oxygen. I cannot go on a day without checking my social accounts, but for some change I decided to leave my laptop in Manila so as not to be tempted to use the internet during my vacation.  I had total and clean fun with my friends, It's the kind of life I'm looking for. No pressure, No work, No pollution, Simple living. Serenity at it's finest.

I realized then that it's not expensive to be happy. Happiness is not made through the gadgets we have, the civilization we embraced, the social status we have to maintain. Happiness is being contented. Happiness is being with the people you can be yourself around. Happiness is not that hard to achieve. It does not require anything. It's a choice.

It's sometimes unfair because when I chose to be happy God will bash me with unending dilemma that I have to face, sometimes alone sometimes not. I wanted to quit sometimes, I wanted to be agnostic. But I realized that if I will, nothing will change it will just make things worst.

I have friends, a boyfriend, a shit full of member family what more can I ask for? Jesus Christ, I want serenity. I want complete snob to negativity. I want to raise my middle finger to the complexities of life. I want peace, silence. at the end of the day it's a conclusion brothers and sisters:

i just want to be happy.

Totally Femme.

So yea, I wore this one aftenoon for my OJT. It's just by accident, because I do not have any available clothes to wear, all were in the laundry! haha

The red skirt, is clled a bandage skirt It's garterized and can fit any body frame. Plus it's sexy! I'm loving it. I bought it in divi for 100 pesos only. And i do hope to buy more colors.

The inside top was actually a cropped top i bought on a thrift store that cost me only 20 pesos! haha lucky find indeed.

The blazer. its a floral blazer which i also bought in a thrift store in Avenida. I bought it for 50 peos only! and i am so happy because it's just so pretty and just too affordable. I really recommend you buy at a thrift store, because those places are the harem of fashionable clothes, I tell you. hihi

The mustard flats, was my sister's. haha! I stole in in her closet :P dunno where she bought it :)

The necklace was mom's :)

And the Ctrl; Z rings, i like to call them my Undo Rings, is a DIY. I made it myself using toe rings, glue gun and keyboards from my old laptop :) cute right? hihi


We'll be posting more looks on the following days. Dressing up is love <3

Lookbook :*

Just recently i had the chance to update my Lookbook.nu profile. It's a site where in you could post your looks/ dress/ clothes and users will hype/fan/ and comment on your looks. I was having fun at lookbook because ILOVE DRESSING UP and whenever someone hype my looks, I feel appreciated. Since I am being fantard ove rlookbook nowadays, i'll bring over that fandom here on my blog. I will be posting my looks here. yey! haha, Wala lang, it's nice to have an archive ;)

Working out, Sweating out.

These past few days I started hitting the gym. it was fun and I'm actually loving it.

Needless to say, I really need to lose extra pounds because I've been a sweet-toothed-couch-potato in the past years and there's a need for me to lose those extra inches on my waistline.

My boyfriend accompanies and instructs me everything about the gym, how to use the equipments, how many times should I do this, and that. Yes, Im a little conscious 'bout it but I realized that at least there's someone to help and someone so patient though I am a very badass student (grins)

It's a sacrifice waking up 6 in the morning and no excuses had to be done. I have to rush in the restroom to take a COLD bath then eat a little rice and meal and voila! off to the gym.

To get to the gym, we could ride the tryc but we refuse tho- the long walks serves as warm ups. 

My first day was good, i had fun in the threadmill, still shy though cause majority of people in there are my opposite sex. 

My second day was "whatever". We have legs program and gosh, it fucking hurts! I've complained  about it for 3 days matter of factly.

Third, Fourth and so on days, getting used to it :) loving the equipments and i am also watching over my diet which is REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD!!! LMAO

But some says that i am actually improving :) and i love it when they say that hihi, makes me more motivated. 

I also am in love the fact that we live more healthy now, (though he still cant resist the urge to buy me sweets whenever I begged of him haha!)

Here's the latest figure I'm into. LOL, I'll post the full before and after, after achieving my desired body (winks)

It's a little blur, but fvck? who cares? LOL :))

Assessment on Independence, really?

On my own now as I step closer and closer to the real world.

I just received a text message from our OJT manager that I have a TWTH schedule. meaning i will only have to go to the office every tuesday, Wednesday and thursday. Good 3 days right?

And then my good friend Stof called, saying she was given an MWF schedule.

I was shocked.

I really had thought that we'll be together during the whole course of OJT but I guess were wrong.
Now I'm having a hard time to figure out how will I survive tuesdays and thursdays on my own?

I dont have problems wwhen it comes to independence i mean , I love being independent it's a cool word for e, but i cannot hide the fact that I am actually scared. haha It's always nice to have a companion.

Now what? no lookbook moments, No Mcdonals moments and going home together. Waa!

But I believe there's nothing more than that to be sad about, I mean there is more to come, who knows I will have new friends there, that kind of stuffs?

Wish me luck this OJT! O-M!

Where are you gonna spend your summer breaks? :)