If...

If...

Graduation is just months away, 6 months to be exact. And seriously speaking, here i am again- dunno what to do.

Meron naman akong concrete plans after graduation, well hindi masyadong concrete so I think it’ll be better to call it abstract plans. Pero parang di pa din tugma. O sige, drafted plans nalang after graduation. 

What I really want after graduation is to go to Paris and study film. I really want that like so badly that even just the thought of it makes me want to shout or cry or do something violent LOL. That’s what I really want in the first place. Kaso ang lakas ng tama sakin ng scientific method. Sabi kasi sa scientific method dapat daw may process para maabot yung conclusion. By process they mean steps. Ang daming steps na kaialangan ko pa gawin.

For me to go  to Paris I need (in the candy girls’ vocabs) moolah. Lot’s of em. Nacompute ko na actually so alam ko na kung magkano kaialangan ko ipunin. My plans are straight. Magtratrabaho ako ng malala. Siguro magkcall center ako for a while kasi practically speaking, malaki sahod dun and in no time I can earn what I needed. So, kahit medyo degrading ok lang. On our generation bitches, money now one of the basic needs.

So yun, call center. then save for Paris. Im not planning to go straight to Paris. Well, naisip ko kasi na kung magttrabaho ako sa ibang bansa, di lang doble, triple minsan times68 pa ng sahod sa call center yung kikitain ko. So ayun, I will work here, save some for the trip abroad then voila. More more work in a foreign land.

Of course, Im not ging to do that alone. Sinabi ko na to kay M (bf) he agrees with me and he even said that he’s coming. Pag nakaipon na ko enough para makatrabaho abroad. Sasama siya sakin, we’ll be renting a house or an apartment there. Parang live in while both of us is working for our future. Mag iipon ako ng pang Paris ko tapos yung other savings bibigay ko kay Mommy. 

After work, magiging semi wife ako kay M, gunna cook him dinner, tell him about my day, ask him about his and then cuddle. We crave for that moment :) <3

Siguro kapag nakapag aral na ko sa Paris, uuwi na kami ng Pilipinas. Magtatayo ng restaurant kasi ayun talaga yung gusto naming dalawa. Tapos nun magpapakasal :)

After nun ippursue ko na yung film making passion ko.

Kapag nagawa ko na yung gusto ko, bibili na ko ng kotse. And sa pagbili ko ng kotse (only my super friends know what will happen next ;) )

after that, I’ll guess i’ll be happy. that’s all I really wanted.

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Why am I writing this entry? KAsi may sakit akong kalimot, aligaga, at magulong isip. One way or another pwede magbago lahat to at mag iba ang gusto ko mangyari sakin after graduation. sometimes I hate myself for being such a brat. But Im going to keep this entry, have this printed as well. Para next time na magbago na naman isip ko, babasahin ko to and will think about how wonderful it will be kapag nangyari to.

6 months. After that, this shall come to life.

Beggining to get crazy,

D

h a p p y : better said than done.

I refuse to write blogposts that tackles issues of our government, it's not that I don't give a damn, it's just that there are too many bullshits in their agendas and I am too tired of listening. Convict or not, we are hopeless.

Let me just scribble some good old stuffs that's visiting my half-filled brain these past few days.

It's not as important as the CJ Corona impeachment everyine is talking about, not as famous as the Jessica Sanchez fandom, not as sensationalized as the everyday local news. What I want to write is something about LIFE.

Just recently, I took a break off from the city life that I have been facing every single day of my 18 years of existence. It's a 3-day vacation to the city of Batangas. I'm a very internet-dependent person. Believe me man, it's like oxygen. I cannot go on a day without checking my social accounts, but for some change I decided to leave my laptop in Manila so as not to be tempted to use the internet during my vacation.  I had total and clean fun with my friends, It's the kind of life I'm looking for. No pressure, No work, No pollution, Simple living. Serenity at it's finest.

I realized then that it's not expensive to be happy. Happiness is not made through the gadgets we have, the civilization we embraced, the social status we have to maintain. Happiness is being contented. Happiness is being with the people you can be yourself around. Happiness is not that hard to achieve. It does not require anything. It's a choice.

It's sometimes unfair because when I chose to be happy God will bash me with unending dilemma that I have to face, sometimes alone sometimes not. I wanted to quit sometimes, I wanted to be agnostic. But I realized that if I will, nothing will change it will just make things worst.

I have friends, a boyfriend, a shit full of member family what more can I ask for? Jesus Christ, I want serenity. I want complete snob to negativity. I want to raise my middle finger to the complexities of life. I want peace, silence. at the end of the day it's a conclusion brothers and sisters:

i just want to be happy.