My mind is wandering. I know I will have the tendency t post junk here on my blog anytime tonight. But how will I cope up?

Dear past stranger, current angry lover, and I still believe you to be my future husband,

I am crying right know as I am scribbling letters on my laptop. I can't help it. It's so much pain I'm feeling right now. I want to tell it to everybody just so I wont feel abandoned at this kind of situation we are going thru. But I know that everybody has problems of their own, everybody has something more valuable to do. And I just lost some valuable someone, It's you.

Let me start by asking you what had gone wrong?

You always know how much I love you, I guess I never fil to remind you that. I always see to it that you are happy, even sacrificing my own just for you.

I know that I am a bit hard headed at times, a little brat and a lot of times I do make you mad. But you alwas know that I try to change it. I try to be more appealing to your attitude standards. I try to change myself, my looks even my attitude. Because i want you to see how important you are to me.

I left some friends, abandoned some really close friends. Started a new life. A life that only the two of us shares. I never had regrets. I am happy.

I gave you almost everything I have. and by everything, I mean all of me...

Still, no regrets. Because I LOVE YOU.

There are several times that I've been hurt. I have tendencies to give up, But I never ever said that I dont love you. I cant say it, nor imagine.

So how come it looks so easy to tell me those hateful words " I dont love you anymore" ?

(cries harder)

I thought that you were just mad, you were not serious but it turns out that I was wrong.

Sudden goodbyes are always hard.

Shall i set you free now? I dont think I can :/
Im so afraid to lose you, you know im weak. you know I'm innocent. You know I cant live without you. you know I love you that much :(

I am so weak and wasted and hurt. I wish you would kiss me and tell me that you do not mean your words. BUT... you chose to ignore. Now I feel like Im really all by myself.

I just want to disappear...

Love,
Me

UNTITLED

I never loved any one else but you...

Its a sad feeling when someone meant the world to you and yet it doesn't matter to them. not even a bit.

Some people are really meant to meet and fall in love with each other but was not meant to end up together.

I am heart broken. My heart breaks and I dont like the feeling. I am holding my own hand, taking care of my own heart. I am so alone T.T I am so wasted and so broke. I am not me anymore. I am pathetic. and i just want to disappear.

I AM WEAK. im not that strong as what i thought i was. I cannot handle the pain. I simply cant.........

Being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the wrong ones.

smooches :*

Dear past stranger, current boyfriend and future husband,

As I am about to go to sleep tonight, I look at my cellphone and found you and your smiling face in my wallpaper. Accidentally, I smiled too.

Guess you never heard me tell you how blessed I am to be your other half. I'm shy, y'know were not that showy to each other, but just to let you knowthough you may not be the most handome guy i've met, the most richest man i could ever imagine, you'll remain as the luckiest man that i had, am and will love :)

I admit that there are times that I tend to be weak and just wanted to give up, leave and forget all there is about us. But you were always there, your mere presence feels like telling me that I shouldn't for we'll be spending the future together. Yes honey, I know we will :)

You had seen me at my worst, my best and my hottest, (arrr) haha! And you appreciate all of it. You never fail to tell me how good I look, I dress and how great I talk and do stuffs. You make me feel as if I am a likable person. You make me feel woman. You make me feel blessed. You make me feel loved.  You make me happy..

I seriously cannot imagine my life without you. I know it's cheesy but I am telling the truth. And the truth does not hurt, it's a preparation for us to be healed. :)

Cliche as it may sound but you are one of the best things that happened to me.

Please dont be tempted of other firls who looks thinner and hotter than me! i'll curse you! haha kidding aside, Let's work on my figure so that our dirty little visions will come to life. hahahahaha! I know, only the two of us can understand this paragraph. lol

Stay with me, I want you to be the witness of my success, shoulder to cry on when i failed, the man I will see waiting for me at the altar someday and eventually be the man of my future kiddos.

i love you honey :) will forever do :)

Love,

Daisy :)

Chinatown,Foodie town :D

Every tuesday is honey's day off at work. so basically that's also the time that we spent a lot together :) Which I love because we never run out of things to do every tueday :)

In fact, last tuesday we went to Binondo Manila which is just a ride away from home. From Divisoria we resist to take the jeepney for faster transportation, we walked instead. It was so much fun because we did window-shopped @ 168 too. haha!

Then there's this new mall an extendion of the 999 mall i think? its too classy and posh. It looks a lot like Ayala malls really, the thing is there's only a few stalls inside but we love the fact that there is Starbucks and that place seems to be so quiet. So starbucksish (the word?lol)

It was so thirsty that day, we make patol na the buko juice beside the mall haha. It looks clean tho and not to mention it's very delicious! Ugh, im craving, okay.

Stop over to Binondo church to kneel down and pray, as we went out the church honey mentioned the different feeling inside the church. He said that the church seems so serene and looks very holy. I agreed.

So we walk more til we finally reach Chinatown. How excited am I to look for a place where dimsum is served. We saw Eng Bee Tin and I just couldnt help myself!

Eng Bee Tin's Ube/Pastillas and Purple Yam Hopia. LOVE THIS!

Afterwards, the search continues. We stroll along the streets of Binondo til we find Ying Ying's Dimsum. I would love to try but the place is not so appetizing hihi so I said that we should walk more.

And so we reached this certain restaurant which I forgot the name, there were a lot of Patrons I must say! and there is no table for us na, then the lady said that there is actually more seats upstairs. So we tried to check that out. MORE SEATS :)  more comfy and appetizing tables :)

Cafe Mezzanine

 Go Kong. P150, It's a soup consisting of diff. kinds of meat, it's delicious

Their Special beef wanton noodles @ P150. It's super dami and mouthful!

The Fireman's Shake :)

Here are some of the pictures we've had @ Cafe Mezzanine. It's delicious and oh-so-cheap, it only cost us around 400 pesos for all the meals we had :)

Happy Customers! :)

Some people come in your life as blessings; others come in your life as lessons.

I was never wrong when i said on my earlier entry that i love him in every single day, be it bad or good.

Writing is my forever love, and writing about "us" is my favorite topic.

Just recently we spend some wonderful day together, ate and walk under the very hot summer sky of Binondo in search for some yummy dimsum :9

He is having a hard time walking for he have some kind of a bruise in his left foot but I never heard a complain, that's just one of his great traits ♡

And then while walking we came across someone he knew. It was a guy named Joel, his friend. Then he told me about Joel, that Joel has been a family man that recently had an affair with some girl and making his life all shattered, the only good thing was the man chose to be on the right path and stayed with his family instead.

I asked " Sino yung babae niya?"
He said "si Jade"

I remembered the name and gave my eyebrows a litlle bit of exercise as it rises on its maximum height. JADE. I can clearly remember her, she used to be a "friend", more than friend rather  to my boyfriend. She'd been the cause of our major arguement before, we almost broke up but like Joel he chose to stay with me.

Now I'm pissed! hahahaha

Kidding aside, i really wonder why I get angry every time we talked about the past. But later on I realized that it wouldn't affect us anymore and I should be thankful because I was blessed enough that after all the dillemas, the heartbreaks, the hard rocks that fate has wholeheartedly brought us, he stays with me, were together and we are HAPPY :)

I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning, and a broken heart.

Sabi sa movie ni Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal :  "There's a lot i dont understand about life you meet thousands of people and met one person and your life has change"

Which is true, we do meet thousand, millions, billions of people. but only one makes an impact. I have been constantly happy with Michael, my boyfriend for three years and 5 months as i am writing this post. Syempre madaming down moments. Magkaiba kasi kame ng persona, tahimik siya and im extremely loud. Mature na siya mag isip, ako hindi pa. He dont have plans, i have lots. Opposite attracts daw, pero not all the time.

Before ako yung immature, ngayon i feel so mature. i have the feel that i am responsible to everything that has an impact to my life. My body, my family, my friends, my relationship as well. Feeling ko dapat LAHAT naka ayon sa plano. dapat LAHAT masusunod. and so the tables had turned, humihawalay na siya sa mga plano ko, masyadong napapabilis ung metabolism. ang layo na ng gap namen.

Next thing I knew, I was broken hearted.

I really dont know who's to blame if there is such. Gusto ko ng ganito, gusto ko ng ganyan. I want a straightforward future. A future well planned. I want him to be there, but were gazillion of miles away from each other's perspectives. how could that be?

I tried to save the relationship. Lots of times pa nga e. kasi alam ko na ako lang naman yung mag aayos, pag pinabayaan ko wala talagang mangyayari. It's never wrong to save a relationship, lalo na if it's for the better. what's wrong is if you're the only one who's trying to save the relationship. ang hirap nun. Pakiramdam ko tuloy mag isa lang ako. pakiramdam ko tuloy ako nalang yung may gusto.

Tapos mabubuo yung sawa factor. Magsasawa ka na kakasave. Magsaswa ka ng kakadrama. Magsaswa ka na kakapangaral sa kanya na kasi ganito ganyan blah blah. Magsasawa ka na sa lahat. But then again hindi mo magawang iwanan. napapaisip nga ako minsan eh, dahil ba sa tagal ng pagsasama kaya mahirap humiwalay kahit wala ng feelings? Fvck commitment if so.

Dont get me wrong that was just my thoughts. I do love him. I love him every single day na hindi niya ko itetext, i love him every single night na hindi siya mag gu-goodnight. I love him kahit paulit ulit akong magalit sa kanya. tinatanong mo siguro kung bakit? Kasi he has been the only one who changed me.

I was never like this, i was never caring to the people around me. I only love myself before. And God knows how afraid am I to commitments. Takot akong matali sa isang tao lang, para kasi sakin bata pa ko madami pa kong makikilala. Madami dapat. But God is so playful he chose to stick me to a person that is completely my opposite. He let me commit, and now I'm still clingy to this.

I became patient, I became careful and above all I became a better me.

So better that i can handle myself though my heart breaks at the sad thought that were actually drifting away from each other. I was moving forward and he is moving slowly backwards. Sometimes he I slows down so he can catch up. But it's not all the time that I have to be the one to make the adjustments.

The thing with relationships, ang hirap imaintain kasi sa pagtagal ng pagkakasama niyo mas lalo niya makikilala yung isat isa. I dont want to be a feminist here, pero totoo mas naiinlove kameng mga babae kapag tumatagal na yung relasyon and guys are the contrary. Sad reality.

I'm referring to GUYS. yes take note of the technicality, guys have far difference from MAN.
A real man would stick to the relationship, hindi lang sa simula, hindi lang sa gitna, kundi forever.

I'm a fraid of falling in love to the wrong guy.
I'm afraid of drowning in a pointless commitment.
I'm afraid of a broken heart that has not been saved.

Unspoken words.

walang nakakaalam sa totoong estado ng buhay naman sa bahay. Akala nila okay kame, hindi lang nila alam na gustong gustong gustong gusto ko na magdisappear, lumayas o mamatay. kahit ano dun, mawala lang sa mata nila.


Bakit ka nagdadrama sa araw araw? hindi mo ba naiisip na okay kame at ikaw ang nakakagulo? ang drama mo leche ka! kung ano anong iniiisip mo idadamay mo pa kame. Well sorry hindi ako nakakkuwi sa ganun.
GUSTO KONG MAGING BINGI KAHIT ISANG ARAW LANG. ayokong marinig yung mga salita mo, yung boses mong nakakairita, hindi mo lang alam kung gano ko kainis sayo! bakit ikaw pa?!


Alam naten na mali siya, OO! mali siya! pero hindi niya pinapalala! nakakainis, ikaw ang nagpapagulo pero hindi ko yun mapaliwanag kasi sarado ang utak mo. ikaw lang lage ang tama, ikaw lang kawawa dito. e tangina naman konting gising hindi lang ikaw ang nahihirapan.


Kung tutuusin nga walang mahihirapan kundi ka mag iinarte araw araw. nabwibwisit na ko ng sobra. hindi ko kinakaya. wala ka naman ginagawa dito sa bahay kung maka emote ka kala mo ikaw lahat gumagawa. ni hindi ka nga naglalaba, nagpapalaba ka lang tapos samen mo sisisi? e ikaw nga dapat gumagawa nun e! bwisit ako hindi sa simple at maliit na bagay kundi sa bakit ganito na tayo ngayon.


TANGINA LANG TALAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


Seryoso, gusto ko munang mamatay kahit ngayon lang ayoko munang marinig ka nagsasawa na ko sa paulit ulit mong litanya. ikaw naman talaga may kagagawan e. kasalanan mo1 naiinis ako sayo! pero hindi ko masabi ayokong lumala ayokong sumabay sayo nirerespeto pa din kita kahit pano. kahit ganyan ka :(

hindi naman ako perfect na anak, alam ko yun pero hindi rin naman ako tanga. iaabsorb lahat ng arte mo sa bahay hindi lang ikaw yung nawalan tangina naman lahat naman kame nahihirapan. gusto mo ata pati kame dibdibin namen yun nangyayari. bwisit! 


Leche.


Hindi ba mas maganda mag isip ng positive> mas maganda na nagtatawanana? bakit panira ka ng moment? bakit panira ka ng good vibes? bakit? ano bang problema mo? ma?